freeflow storythoughts

  

  ((Written 10/2/2008))

In this story, I hung out with an occasional friend I call Indulgence and we took a ride together on the backlanes where no one could discover us... The road to nowhere, with false convenient comforts all around us so as to make the journey more enjoyable. And boy, it did -- everything else beyond the comforts within arm's reach was dark, flat, nothing. All that existed to us was the space within the metal, alight by its own devices and by the fire from our fingertips. We were driving outside under the giant twinkling blanket of stars... the sly moon hidden from our sight but surrounding us, encapsulated us... yes, an eclipse.  We were shooting through the moon in a space whereby there were beans of soy and cows who in reality cannot jump (do not believe in all the fables you may have heard. I know cows cannot jump over the moon). 

In my own metal moon hidden from the world, in the darkness I felt safe, pressing on gas OR gliding, or stopping completely on its four orbitals... Pressed down by gravity, but there not by force, I laid horizontally on the Earth.  There on concrete land I thought I would feel cemented in time -- paused -- but my thinking told me the world was still spinning! Thinking: It Makes Your Head Spin (?!). To take the spin out from within I return to my moonrock ride, my forcefield, and reverberated by the noise of it all, drove straightaway to the space station far away. Now I am back to the alienated home base where I too feel safe.

It is kind of a crazy world outside, even for flatlands: Even when there is so much Space around you, practically nothingness! you go outside and by simply remembering the bright circle-dots is you realize what you were missing. Connecting them is a bonus, but it's still beautiful just remembering they're there in the first place...from the start. Something you can count on.

The concept of continuity and flow, and of matter and energy, these were discussed. My companion and I played that game on the [corn]field where you bounce things back and forth, like tennis or soccer...ideas, not matter, but ideas that matter much in the weight of their significance. But we meant not for the weight to be a burden; it was fun bouncing ideas back and forth like a game, knowing it's gonna end sometime and somehow when someone gets the point.

- Why not be happy with every moment? offered my friend. ...So that the fear of dying itself dies, and that we can die happy?

- Only if it were so! I said. If we had no goals to realize, no dreams in life, no hopes... then we'd be perfectly fine dying anytime just like that. But personally I don't know how happy I'd be going down on my next plane ride!

- A plane would be a great way to go, I was reassured. Life's all about the experience; what a one to end on!!

Quite. I didn't know what to say, but I think I wanted to say, "No!" I don't want to believe in death at all. It will happen sometime to all of us but now I am alive and want to dodge its foreboding face before it comes to me and we make eye contact. I don't want to think about plane crashes, it's the most tragic to think of, when you always consider yourself mid-journey!