freeflow storythoughts

  

  ((Written 10/2/2008))

In this story, I hung out with an occasional friend I call Indulgence and we took a ride together on the backlanes where no one could discover us... The road to nowhere, with false convenient comforts all around us so as to make the journey more enjoyable. And boy, it did -- everything else beyond the comforts within arm's reach was dark, flat, nothing. All that existed to us was the space within the metal, alight by its own devices and by the fire from our fingertips. We were driving outside under the giant twinkling blanket of stars... the sly moon hidden from our sight but surrounding us, encapsulated us... yes, an eclipse.  We were shooting through the moon in a space whereby there were beans of soy and cows who in reality cannot jump (do not believe in all the fables you may have heard. I know cows cannot jump over the moon). 

In my own metal moon hidden from the world, in the darkness I felt safe, pressing on gas OR gliding, or stopping completely on its four orbitals... Pressed down by gravity, but there not by force, I laid horizontally on the Earth.  There on concrete land I thought I would feel cemented in time -- paused -- but my thinking told me the world was still spinning! Thinking: It Makes Your Head Spin (?!). To take the spin out from within I return to my moonrock ride, my forcefield, and reverberated by the noise of it all, drove straightaway to the space station far away. Now I am back to the alienated home base where I too feel safe.

It is kind of a crazy world outside, even for flatlands: Even when there is so much Space around you, practically nothingness! you go outside and by simply remembering the bright circle-dots is you realize what you were missing. Connecting them is a bonus, but it's still beautiful just remembering they're there in the first place...from the start. Something you can count on.

The concept of continuity and flow, and of matter and energy, these were discussed. My companion and I played that game on the [corn]field where you bounce things back and forth, like tennis or soccer...ideas, not matter, but ideas that matter much in the weight of their significance. But we meant not for the weight to be a burden; it was fun bouncing ideas back and forth like a game, knowing it's gonna end sometime and somehow when someone gets the point.

- Why not be happy with every moment? offered my friend. ...So that the fear of dying itself dies, and that we can die happy?

- Only if it were so! I said. If we had no goals to realize, no dreams in life, no hopes... then we'd be perfectly fine dying anytime just like that. But personally I don't know how happy I'd be going down on my next plane ride!

- A plane would be a great way to go, I was reassured. Life's all about the experience; what a one to end on!!

Quite. I didn't know what to say, but I think I wanted to say, "No!" I don't want to believe in death at all. It will happen sometime to all of us but now I am alive and want to dodge its foreboding face before it comes to me and we make eye contact. I don't want to think about plane crashes, it's the most tragic to think of, when you always consider yourself mid-journey!

Life's a Garden - Journal Entry Part I

A lot of the things are in place. The things you need to build the garden of your dreams. The land is there, waiting for you, in a time of peace. The tools are stored safely during the winter months. We have an idea of what needs to happen first. Do you have the right seeds, and planting supplies to help these little balls of potential grow? They will grow when the time is right, if you grant them the right conditions. They will grow. They want to grow! They need a beautiful space, and while you do not take credit as the primary Creator, you are the provider, you are Secondary Creator in that you create the conditions for life and environments. That is an equally powerful position in granting Life At This Time because without you, the seed will remain a seed.

Your power is in your HAND, your THOUGHTS, and your ability to DEDICATE to habit and action that will allow ripe conditions for the beauty you can help to grow.

Beauty you can cultivate.

You have the vision.

It starts with you.

"We are made for these times"

From http://www.grahameb.com/pinkola_estes.htm

My friends, do not lose heart. We were made for these times. I have heard from so many recently who are deeply and properly bewildered. They are concerned about the state of affairs in our world now. Ours is a time of almost daily astonishment and often righteous rage over the latest degradations of what matters most to civilized, visionary people.

You are right in your assessments. The lustre and hubris some have aspired to while endorsing acts so heinous against children, elders, everyday people, the poor, the unguarded, the helpless, is breathtaking. Yet, I urge you, ask you, gentle you, to please not spend your spirit dry by bewailing these difficult times. Especially do not lose hope. Most particularly because, the fact is that we were made for these times. Yes. For years, we have been learning, practicing, been in training for and just waiting to meet on this exact plain of engagement.

I grew up on the Great Lakes and recognize a seaworthy vessel when I see one. Regarding awakened souls, there have never been more able vessels in the waters than there are right now across the world. And they are fully provisioned and able to signal one another as never before in the history of humankind.

Look out over the prow; there are millions of boats of righteous souls on the waters with you. Even though your veneers may shiver from every wave in this stormy roil, I assure you that the long timbers composing your prow and rudder come from a greater forest. That long-grained lumber is known to withstand storms, to hold together, to hold its own, and to advance, regardless.

In any dark time, there is a tendency to veer toward fainting over how much is wrong or unmended in the world. Do not focus on that. There is a tendency, too, to fall into being weakened by dwelling on what is outside your reach, by what cannot yet be. Do not focus there. That is spending the wind without raising the sails.

We are needed, that is all we can know. And though we meet resistance, we more so will meet great souls who will hail us, love us and guide us, and we will know them when they appear. Didn't you say you were a believer? Didn't you say you pledged to listen to a voice greater? Didn't you ask for grace? Don't you remember that to be in grace means to submit to the voice greater?

Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely. It is not given to us to know which acts or by whom, will cause the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good.

What is needed for dramatic change is an accumulation of acts, adding, adding to, adding more, continuing. We know that it does not take everyone on Earth to bring justice and peace, but only a small, determined group who will not give up during the first, second, or hundredth gale.

One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these - to be fierce and to show mercy toward others; both are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity.

Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do.
There will always be times when you feel discouraged. I too have felt despair many times in my life, but I do not keep a chair for it. I will not entertain it. It is not allowed to eat from my plate.

The reason is this: In my uttermost bones I know something, as do you. It is that there can be no despair when you remember why you came to Earth, who you serve, and who sent you here. The good words we say and the good deeds we do are not ours. They are the words and deeds of the One who brought us here. In that spirit, I hope you will write this on your wall: When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But that is not what great ships are built for.

By Clarissa Pinkola Estes

American poet, post-trauma specialist and Jungian psychoanalyst, author of Women Who Run With the Wolves.

x

Ubuntu and my former professor

"Ubuntu is an ecological strategy for survival," he says, from an ecological and societally introspective talk recorded years ago being now played on *Radio Party* on WEFT Community Radio 90.1 one Saturday afternoon.

Always organized under constant renewal... Malcolm X suggested not to become fossilized, not to become cynical... "And that continues to inform my ideas that the human spirit maybe under the circumstances of pain and suffering (like blues music) during these dystopian times, the best of the human sensibilities and ideas emerge."

Host: "Why is it important to have fun?"

My NRES 104 professor, years later, on the radio: "...to celebrate the joy of being with other people. The conversations get dark, and the music brings you back. I'm down with that entirely. There's nothing like music, for sure. The arts man, for sure."

For surrrrrre, man.

That man was the one who affirmed my path in determining my major in college. Freshman year, 2nd semester, I was inspired to make change in the environmental path we're on as a species and to assist in the effort of conservation. He was on the radio station where I also am a volunteer. But I thank him, his name is Gil Mendoza, and glad he made such an impact through the way he taught that class and inspired me. I also want to shot out to my high school Costa Rica program creator and guide Thomas Koulentes who also supercharged that inspiration and caused me to realize that the environmental fight is the greatest fight.

Zen monkey

In a fast-paced and multi-sensory world

music gives us a reason to rejoice in peace...


In focusing completely on it and losing ourselves

at peace


Zen monkey

eyes closed, serene expression


Sure there's so many cool places one could be in this world.

but are you fine with where YOU are within? (and the who's and the what's)

...how your karma is, how your mindset is, how you are in your relationships, and your place in the scheme of where you are in the pursuit of your desires.

Burning is of our essence

You've heard: "Eat to live, Live to Eat"
But what is it that demands that you stand on two feet
Why do you get up in the morning, and what do you craft with your hands
What is it that just being YOU demands

If you don't have two feet... and only your soul
Where is your niche, at base, what is your role
What is it inside you that makes your life flow

Having nothing being a "n0 0ne"...
to having everything, knowing everyone...
life could be a jolly joke since it's all about fun
or life could be smoke, above the fire of ruin...
It depends on how you embrace the basest of your soul
How you stand on this land and how you face-out your role

You may ponder your fate
your place on the plate
(or your role in the bowl?)
and the grand illusion that it's Your Lifetime that's great.
While it may all just be muck
the big cosmic goo
that really, reality, is N0thing to you.
Or maybe it's grand
You're a piece of the sand
and you have the gall to reshape it all

Whatever your role, in the psychadelic black hole
However you weave through the depths with your soul
In vain we fight our nature
But time takes its toll
And gradually we burn to embers and coal.

Living Light

Which dimension of the sun are you
Are you a black hole shadow, hiding it, blocking it
That doesn't retain the sun at all
The Ying to the Yang

Or are you the kind that
reflects it, solidly shining in other directions, now
you radiate and disperse it which magnifies
its power.

Or do you
embody it
contain that matter which is light in another form
and move
like light
dancing and shifting and expanding and vibrating, colliding and bouncing and transforming
"Are you living out the rest of your days, or dying out the rest of your days...?"

We are light out loud
Slowed down *lightform-beings* harnessing light at a rate at which we can experience time
A lower vibration to help us set our feet down on gravity's ground
Without that anchor....we'd be light-speed flickers around the universe
This is the kind of density that saves us, that creates us. It defines us

Our light, then, is inherent
and it is in our nature.
Part of this global family of forms
anchored to this beautiful marble, hues of green and blue
swirling around our star, Ra Ra Ra
we're its biggest cheerleader, we root for you
for she is our Mother, it is Kali it is our maker and it is our taker
She our mover, she our shaker...




*****Love for all beings especially those who are governed by the soul****

The bridge to feeling a common kin

Walk in the direction of your destiny

Be in the peaceful woods with the vision of generations of conscious beings all connected and webbed by Earth history and environment, common experience, common family

We are of the same star…the same planet

We call this one place home

No where or one else in the universe.

Although with them, too, we could feel kin.

It’s the feeling of connection

A larger family

Infinitely diverse and colorful tribe of beings moving around the planet

We are in our karma of actions to survive and be the embodiment we are, all creatures alike.

Be. Here on Earth, with us, and we them, we are global family.

Peace for them

Peace for us.

Let us survive

And be one with the beautiful ride

Along space and time.

Fleeting and Permanent

3:33 and sync
objects and forms and breath, imagery from the memory and the nod that there are creatures living their reality, now. Afar but all at once. Now--running through the plains, drinking nourishing water, feeling the sun beat down on their furry backs. Escaping, running toward something, doing. Being.
And that is exactly it. The emotion of sadness and beauty overtakes... fleeting perfection, and somehow drawn out, to write this reflection, to bring the realization that all is perfection into another Now.
Hello to you, hello to me, we are divine, and we ARE... perfection in all the creation's glory of the Universe.
Now is all there is right and it's too bad I can't share it with everyone of the future, unless they feel the same too. It's the collective consciousness sensation, harnessed somehow within the world (.....is it physical?). It is passing through me
and it feels like perfection

Nothing is Something Worth Doing (Shpongle)
and:

3 years later...

Well, since the last post below, life happened. 3 years of it.

too much for comment . . . don't know what to put out on here, because I don't know what it's for.

green evolutions

we only get one shot ~ do you believe in what you do, or do you do not?

if not, why are you in it?
if so, why not make it successful
Just Believe.

I want to feel zero-gravity
I want to be unattached
and wandering this place on my quest
my journey of life.
when that $7.99 rug that was Made in China gets pulled out from under us on the bedrock foundation and shit hits the ceiling fan, is the proverbial reality in which this cosmic vagaband shalt feel little pain.

what i need to read every day

Together we sail... in this ship of friends... across this worldly ocean... traversing duality... beyond all names and forms... we breathe consciously... occupying the here and now... arriving at our destination... we return om... welcome om brothers and sisters... welcome om love and light... welcome om existence consciousness bliss absolute... together we rest in peace for we are om ~*~

Your life is divinely orchestrated, every breath every feeling every thought every word every intuition every action every person every choice, listen to the music, be the music, be in harmony with the you in verse, here is where you are, you're free when you're grateful. let go and let love ~*~

There is no limit to the amount of information available ready to occupy your mind and imprison your heart. Remain ever conscious where you place your focus; as you think so you become. Anchor your awareness to the formless power of love and set your heart free! You are the formless power of love! ~*~

Nothing in this entire universe will ever compare to the quiet stillness and peace to be found within! ~*~

thank you to a facebook stranger I found by the name of Christian Lock

realization 10/10/11

I guess we are not really FREE until we stop depending on oil to get around, even if our lives don't depend on getting around ?

and then, when we produce no waste and our waste goes back into the ground, and we don't cover the green in our shit but rather FROM us grows good green shit !

Elephant Power! Listen... over and over, for eternity, it seems.

Grant me empowerment and insight, bigger ears and able tusks, Ganesha. Help me find where I need to go, wise one! What do you know?

I am just getting to know you!

Open Road, by Whitman

Afoot and light-hearted, I take to the open road,

Healthy, free, the world before me,
The long brown path before me, leading wherever I choose.

Henceforth I ask not good-fortune—I myself am good fortune;
Henceforth I whimper no more, postpone no more, need nothing,
Strong and content, I travel the open road.

The earth—that is sufficient;
I do not want the constellations any nearer;
I know they are very well where they are;
I know they suffice for those who belong to them.

5
From this hour, freedom!
From this hour I ordain myself loos’d of limits and imaginary lines,
Going where I list, my own master, total and absolute,
Listening to others, and considering well what they say,
Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating,
Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me.

I inhale great draughts of space;
The east and the west are mine, and the north and the south are mine.

I am larger, better than I thought;
I did not know I held so much goodness.

All seems beautiful to me;
I can repeat over to men and women, You have done such good to me, I would do the same to you.

I will recruit for myself and you as I go;
I will scatter myself among men and women as I go;
I will toss the new gladness and roughness among them;
Whoever denies me, it shall not trouble me;
Whoever accepts me, he or she shall be blessed, and shall bless me.

6
Now if a thousand perfect men were to appear, it would not amaze me;
Now if a thousand beautiful forms of women appear’d, it would not astonish me.

Now I see the secret of the making of the best persons,
It is to grow in the open air, and to eat and sleep with the earth.

9
Allons! whoever you are, come travel with me!
Traveling with me, you find what never tires.

The earth never tires;
The earth is rude, silent, incomprehensible at first—Nature is rude and incomprehensible at first;
Be not discouraged—keep on—there are divine things, well envelop’d;
I swear to you there are divine things more beautiful than words can tell.

Allons! we must not stop here!
However sweet these laid-up stores—however convenient this dwelling, we cannot remain here;
However shelter’d this port, and however calm these waters, we must not anchor here;
However welcome the hospitality that surrounds us, we are permitted to receive it but a little while.

10
Allons! the inducements shall be greater;
We will sail pathless and wild seas;
We will go where winds blow, waves dash, and the Yankee clipper speeds by under full sail.

11
Listen! I will be honest with you;
I do not offer the old smooth prizes, but offer rough new prizes;
These are the days that must happen to you:

You shall not heap up what is call’d riches,
You shall scatter with lavish hand all that you earn or achieve,
You but arrive at the city to which you were destin’d—you hardly settle yourself to satisfaction, before you are call’d by an irresistible call to depart,
You shall be treated to the ironical smiles and mockings of those who remain behind you;
What beckonings of love you receive, you shall only answer with passionate kisses of parting,
You shall not allow the hold of those who spread their reach’d hands toward you.

12
Allons! after the GREAT COMPANIONS! and to belong to them!
They too are on the road! they are the swift and majestic men; they are the greatest women.
Over that which hinder’d them—over that which retarded—passing impediments large or small,
Committers of crimes, committers of many beautiful virtues,
Enjoyers of calms of seas, and storms of seas,
Sailors of many a ship, walkers of many a mile of land,
Habitués of many distant countries, habitués of far-distant dwellings,
Trusters of men and women, observers of cities, solitary toilers,
Pausers and contemplators of tufts, blossoms, shells of the shore,
Dancers at wedding-dances, kissers of brides, tender helpers of children, bearers of children,
Soldiers of revolts, standers by gaping graves, lowerers down of coffins,
Journeyers over consecutive seasons, over the years—the curious years, each emerging from that which preceded it,
Journeyers as with companions, namely, their own diverse phases,
Forth-steppers from the latent unrealized baby-days,
Journeyers gayly with their own youth—Journeyers with their bearded and well-grain’d manhood,
Journeyers with their womanhood, ample, unsurpass’d, content,
Journeyers with their own sublime old age of manhood or womanhood,
Old age, calm, expanded, broad with the haughty breadth of the universe,
Old age, flowing free with the delicious near-by freedom of death.

15
Allons! whoever you are! come forth!
You must not stay sleeping and dallying there in the house, though you built it, or though it has been built for you.

Allons! out of the dark confinement!
It is useless to protest—I know all, and expose it.

17
Allons! the road is before us!
It is safe—I have tried it—my own feet have tried it well.

Allons! be not detain’d!
Let the paper remain on the desk unwritten, and the book on the shelf unopen’d!
Let the tools remain in the workshop! let the money remain unearn’d!
Let the school stand! mind not the cry of the teacher!
Let the preacher preach in his pulpit! let the lawyer plead in the court, and the judge expound the law.

Mon enfant! I give you my hand!
I give you my love, more precious than money,
I give you myself, before preaching or law;
Will you give me yourself? will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?

Walt Whitman, Selected Stanzas From Song of the Open Road

A lion is just a basket of kittens .

This Maiden...has made quick eye contact with the Fool. Sometimes is the Fool, with a wandering eye. But eye contact, is a start

best when in the muck of it

Mid-Evil

Yes! what is the good word, I TRY to stay positive!

I am not trying to rename myself Sunny Alday

no

Vampires suck a lot

and mosquitoes suck less, yes

Some magic creatures like a corpse flower bloom once a decade

But when their stinky self shows, you think

Damn!! get some heavy duty de-oderant to massquerade that haterade!

...Nasty notions, whip-me-up-a-potion

I react like a snapdragon

Embracing that medieval spirit in me

I suit up in my warden-wear and tend to my plot.

In that field of flame

I seek to implant the pest-aside.

My reptilian instinct says, "act strong, never run & hide."

The Zen Gardeners of Nigh tell me

focus on selective weeding

on mental inbreeding

and fear doesn't be-long

That decisive moment is one of eternity, of life and death!!

We don't have long before the flesh festers!

It is cut-throat!! We must pick a bone to survive!!

Yet as a well-read hebrew heir

I consider from my regal chair:

Ascend the throne

~or~

Mend the throng

Breathing from my flat-armored chests with, "your shit stinks, go rip a bong"

may be what I feel

but from an ancestral angle

it would be wrong...

If what you want is, Princess

to once again wear a pretty ring

and here-ye here-ye a joyous song...

Eeyore's Birthday Party in Austin, TX

It was an excellent daytime halloween full of lost forest creatures.

An April Week

So I've been doing a lot of transactions like making money selling things off of Craigslist, trading my gold single-speed bike in for a cool silver mountain bike, getting a refund government check from my many charitable donations in 2010, and getting a $250 gift card in the mail today to service my car. (This will all go towards offsetting several hundreds of dollars in speeding tickets and parking violations).

Did a bit of work at the office this morning and worked very hard all week to get everything I needed done. So I can relax the rest of this weekend. A friend I met [oddly] is coming to watch an old movie (Sita Sings the Blues) and Mystery Science Theater 3000. I practiced spinning poi yesterday. What a great workout, who needs a gym?! AND it is low electricity with all the lights off ...just ipod speakers rocking groovy dubstep.........