striking a half-chord with me

Last post of 2009 until another section grows on the right-hand side of this screen that says 2010. It will be a cool day when it's 2-22-2222, but if I were alive I'd be 236, so that wouldn't be cool. It's a cold snowglobe here in Illinois, but tonight I will be in Kentucky. I've never been to Kentucky, even though tonight barely counts as I won't see much, as I will be in a cabin. We will celebrate a transition of time from one year to the next.

Just two days ago I was in Florida, and some days before that I was in this land called Puerto Rico and some islands named after some Saints. I was with my entire family and we met this nice other family at our dinner table. It was complementary. 5+5=10. 1E+1E=>3E, 1G+1G= 2.5G (1 remainder). It's all a matter of steps and relativity. A half-person, indeed! I mean nothing by my average calculations of familiar mathematical matters, and there is no harm in venturing theories if my gist doesn't transfer past your firewall in a clear manner.

Last night was interesting involving a barcrawl starting around 4:30 pm (but that part was for work) and lasting until 8, you know, talking about taking over the world again somewhat involving chambers of commerce and state leaders and changes, then: a free food pickup from campustown connections and half-movie MIB break where someone alien and unwelcome rang my doorbell, came in for 3 awkward minutes, and then left with no wanted human touch contact. Since when do clowns drop in town like this? And ring doorbells uninvited. Wanting plans! Go away silly clown, onto your own adventures! Don't bring me back into your ring of fire, for I'd rather play with the monkeys and trees and move on rather than go bananas with you again

oh then we (you know, me and my girl) went out for funnies again til 2. I'm calmed and amused at my desk and desktop now.

I'm moving next week! Downstairs. It will be more baller. And outfitted with new memories to be made!

Accidentally Ate my Fate

Giving Quantic a trippy test as I am in the midst of transition

When are we not in transition? But this one is quite large and important, Mara, and it so falls on the blue moon stage

http://www.newsweek.com/id/226480

Obama, Faulkner, and the Uses of Tragedy by Jon Meacham

"It is this last insight that informs Obama's thinking: tragedy as the acceptance of the fact that the world will never fully conform to our wishes, and that even the noblest human efforts will fall short of our highest aspirations."

Trip-trip-trip trippy, life is a trip and no I -- am not high (...right now). I am at "work," in my oversized modern office donated by the developing company who has helped paved my fate! Fate indeed, we have a lot on our plate. Last year I didn't overeat but I was a little above target weight. Next year, we cook and deliver the packaged product meal fresh to the tables above the Mahomet Aquifer. We will sprinkle sugar creams of our dreams on the flat feet of the Illinois state, making potions with our sweet lady fingers, and what a delicious concoction it will be. Trust me, stick here with me, mate, and your buns won't regret the good tidings that will sweep your way, see?

dub and sounds from the ground

happy 4:20

I stopped home at noon from a morning info session on investors and found him reading on my couch...

Want to go here in Feb: http://www.ripponfestival.co.nz/index.htm flights r $1500. :( the concert is sold out (no worries!). Know some people going to NZ soon. Much about NZ calls to me. In fact, I talked to her on the phone yesterday. Girl friend of my friend with a cute accent - we met each on the iphone long-distance and had a great convo where you can tell you'll get along in person. Georgette lives there and has a friend who dated someone in Fat Freddy's! NO WAY

CCNet.

Life is so good!

(Even After All - Finley Quaye. Also some Salmonella Dub and Thievery showed up on the Fat Freddy's pandora station :)

It's amazing how much fulfillment I get from my work, that job I created. Here I started doing what I enjoyed as an undergrad community organizing, and now I'm still here doing a more important version of it with state and nationwide implications... a chance to revolutionize not only my community -- Champaign-Urbana, IL -- but the business community and green businesses nationwide... 

There is so much potential for increased connectivity here on sustainability issues. So much potential for cross-pollination of ideas. So much potential for innovation, entrepreneurship, research... So much potential to make this a true micro-urban community, and paint it green.

wow that is some good free brownie. the cheesecake and beer was last night, indubitably 

res doc

working hard. seemingly no results, it's slow-go. it's not easy to change the world

...These bumps are all part of making a better start-up story.

Get to the Gook

Fortune from cookie sitting around for weeks, from home:

LEARN CHINESE - Pumpkin

(nAn)  (guA)

Lucky Numbers 7, 53, 34, 49, 44, 41

"In order to capture a city, first

capture the heart of the people."

I was going to make a pumpkin pie today!

Using Up Oink

I ain't no space hog

but in the meantime

I miss sharing my pigpen

with you.

It's funny, this post reminds me of my friend Lyon Forage from TX

but only the song reference is about him. THX for that song :)

His name, Lyon, is misleading. Not so predatory

This post is mostly about cute, mostly innocent and smuggly piggies 

where the first is pent up in the cornfields (this little piggy has a dayjob) and the second is sent to the city nearing Turkey Day, choosing to attend to Slaughterhaus 5. Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt, eh?

odd (heart)beat

skankin' with Fat Freddy's Drop

Their groove's addicting

Fat Freddy's from NZ

If there's a week free, with FFD,

I might have to shell out 1500, fly across the sea

might have someone to see

"The industry will never find me, here among the trees

The footsteps will be - will be all that I leave..." -The Raft.

Flash of Lightning! I am destined to eventually be, alone amongst the trees and wild things forever, where no one else can find me...

King Max

shit shit, my digital life is way out of date! :P RaR lolz

I already miss my King of the Wild Things, my Max

tho it's not his real name.

Really.

radio on my head

blurp

cackle

happy halloweeeeeeeeen! you wild thing

orionids

my mind is playing tricks on me

first it hid my iPod, I look everywhere and under everything and then I found it right AFTER my run. And then, I realized that it DID THAT ON PURPOSE

alex in town, orionids meteor shower too

green worms and tick-tock thoughts

In the past we didn't have pictures, how does it fuck up our minds now to look at them?

Timesuck, an alternate reality...weird.

I have several drums, a guitar, oil paints my mom brought from home, 50 books in arm's reach, pen and paper, records, a super nintendo with a Toy Story game I've never tried, food in the kitchen I should prepare, some work/assignments I could be tackling, and excited legs that are rearing to run but don't want to face the cool Fall weather. But I won't do anything about any of them. Wuss

Atmosphere and Aesop Rock - soso good i can'tcan't getenuf

Front Lines of Environmental Activism

   Greenpeace is like the front lines of the green army. They are the passionate protesters who sacrifice their well-being in the face of environmental injustice. Like any army, their efforts may provoke backlash from the rest of society that they come from, which may isolate them further to the radical right in their fight, but they are evil deed stoppers. They are willing to get arrested to do their part to make a difference in the battle to slow not just climate change but greedy corporations and irresponsible practices that harm the planet.

"Two weeks ago, Greenpeace activists chained themselves to a mining shovel and dump truck at Shell's nearby mine, a protest timed to coincide with Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper's visit with U.S. President Barack Obama in Washington.Shell temporarily halted production at the mine." -Reuters 9/30/09

   Though I define myself as more of a "mainstream environmentalist," both an idealist and a realist working from within the system by collaboration, forming constructive partnerships to make changes, and though sometimes radicals set a progress-inhibiting precedent for misconceptions about other types of environmentalists, making it a harder battle -- I still commend their efforts and tell them: keep up the good fight...

Water--H 2.0--"This Entry Is Dry"

   Just returned from a 2 hour panel and presentation on the local freshwater aquifer on a recently released report on potential scenarios and depletion of the invaluable resource. Experts from the DNR, local academic Survey departments, regional planning commissions and University researchers collaborated on the effort. I learned that there is little if any collaboration between local cities, counties, and state laws as well as with the utility companies and many other sources of usage. There is a disjoint and fragmented-ness between so many factors that all revolve around the sustainability of our regional water resources, the vital well from which springs all life, physically and economically, in the region. Understatements OR overstatements, there NEEDS to be open communication of scientific projections based on sound research, which of course needs more funding (btw). The best available science and research about these issues comes from - Gasp! - right here in central IL, with the U of I in our backyard and Springfield just an afternoon away. Water is a critical issue, and Central IL, the location of the best soil and freshwater in the world (we have the blackest soil with some of the highest organic matter content along with proven best-tasting tap water), needs to practice the best water systems management practices.

   I received a handout from the EPA's Watersense program to improve water efficiency and awareness of leakages that can be fixed and prevented, along with a 60+ page bound copy of the final water study. Staggering statistics. Fix those drips! Else we, like the wicked green witch of the west, disintigrate and melt away into the dark valley of a dry abyss forever. Or, until we clever tricksy Americans find the next best solution to share the precious freshwater in perpetuity... until 2050, at least, it won't be that bad. One of the [foreign] researchers of the study implied that inferring past that date is too uncertain that it's completely unscientific to include any guesses. 

   So much for caring about the 7 generations hypothesis. "We are not inheriting our resources from our parents, we are borrowing it from our children." in case you haven't heard that, new perspective! Blurp!

going to bed for like the first time before 10. there's 2 much 2 do/practice/learn and think about. I can't decide to commit to any of them except for dumb facebook. which is lame and horrible so I go watch the dark screen behind my eyelids instead... it's been an enriching and stimulating day so I'm tired. and no, I really don't wanna do trivia night or capture the flag at the arboretum

psyche

the thing is there's all this buzzing in my head that I am stifling with each passing minute I don't turn up the volume to each particular frequency

drone it out --

it doesn't exist.

bright ideas

Cool evolution, but I'd add a renewable energy generator for the CFL next, connected to a CFL that's OFF. Make it sustainable folks

Spacing out 2 in-Sense

See I realize that words have many meanings

I like it when there are two, or three

that can be deciphered by most anyone most easily.

When you make art

does it matter who and how many see

See it in physicality - eyes to the page - that's one reality

See it in its spirit in its true mentality.

How else can you see it?

When you make art

What kind of feedback is good?

Who do you WANT to see it and discuss it with

What kind of feedback do you want, how it makes them feel, or how you could improve it?

Which are you fishing for, slippery fox?

Pretty lady, did you drop your old shade of lipstick?

I bought a new hue, for you

It's a shady new line you might like, girl, stick with me, it'll be mighty fine.

"I'll take your lipstick, if you're offering it to me

and I'll paint you a picture..."

May not be a headshot of me, not directly, but I'll let you picture me naked...

What?

Keep talking, saucy minx, you artful dodger, keep talking!

What shall I say through my red lips --How bout a smile to fish out a compliment instead:

"And I think that dress looks nice on you. I can see a lot of life in you."

I think that says a lot about you, superstar. Lina fuckin' Lamont, YOU, are a SENSATION!!!

Clearly.

Thinking.......

Trust.

It's a sense

Ain't it?

Can you define it?

Who has your trust and why sometimes do you just get that vibe

A yes or a no, maybe, but mostly a mentally magnetic attraction

You decide they're all right. You can trust them, you like them

What kind of sensitivity do some artists have to it, do you have to it

When can you let someone's trust turn purple into magenta, or magenta into purple

Maybe trust is somewhat the influence of attraction

and, maybe it's like, if you trust me, I can show you a whole new world.

Or, if you think writers and philosophizers are cocky motherfuckers, if you don't trust people like us, maybe we're just playing our games on different fields then. Your loss.

If so, go have fun with your friends. Hit a home run and tell your mother waiting for you at home.

biZ B

Y, u r such a bi-z b! dear ME.

So much life-detailing potentially occurring

don't be verbose -- instead take the action verb.

...Back, 3 hours later. I played a softball game in the meantime

Out in the boonies, w/beer

Lost to a cupcake team, doh!

I could have - literally - dove to the fly to catch the 1st foul to save the game

instead I came in 2nd, i was second! duck and cover

it came down to the last pop-up and we dropped it, sixteen fifteen

'cuz I let the 1st base guy take the fault instead of my taking of the initiative.

moe

do i fish out crushing compliments or do i really have that inspirational effect on people

i dunno if i want to be that lil' ball of inspiration 24/7.

I'll wear the silver chain necklace from you Hippy Joe, haven't taken it off since he bestowed it upon me Thursday

I'll hold on to that black electric guitar from Mike

And Cory, homeboy, thanx 4 the very awesome peeps! 4eva, man

I could be listening to a lot of different music right now. One at a time, girl. Ya got two ears but one brain. Gotta love the 21st century

Eh -- Love the 21st century?! Mesmerized by screens, sensory overloaded so we forget to think for ourselves sometimes. I don't want to fall into that trap. We all do that, I think.  Overcome!

Out for an elevation tour in the shades of the umbrellas of quercus, acer, and platanus occidentalis. Rock out, it's Free

slothing vs. monkeying around?

Lion in a coma

Nature boy

out of context back in

just got internet in my new apt.

it's been 2 mos.

haven't done none fun writing, son

listen to that groove, shark, son of a gun

The world's gone bad when we lost our conxn

get it back! connect, easy to that flow

breezy baby beautiful, as a rule, set, back into that mind

I hate when the music stops

Just thought I'd write a first post from my office. Officially been 2 weeks 

July: A New Chapter

Hello.

I am starting a new chapter in my life, and I am turning the pages with each moment continuing on in the cyclical time mystery, the multi-dimensional ferris wheel of time and experience where you are but experiencing a passing point of consciousness as the sphere spins.

X that thought.

Write a new one now.

Going Live

THIS IS AMERICA.

I feel for the people of Iran today. May democracy prevail and no more unnecessary blood be shed! I have met some cool Iranians in the U.S...Even without that, no citizens of any country deserve that political oppression.

Found ways to keep myself occupied all weekend with WoRLd diversity. Friday and Saturday were really fun because I hung out with people I met THAT week or that day. Oh, and if someone random stumbles upon this entry, I will say that this weekend is very ME and I somehow fall into situations like these often for someone living in the middle of Illinois. Weekend:

--Two Random Dudes pulled over to help fix my flat tire, then they took me out to dinner for some reason when i shouhld have been the one to treat them, and then we hung out til 2 am. One was from Sudan, one from Egypt, and at a nice Indian grill we joined tables with some Saudi girls who we eventually gave a ride home to in the pouring rainstorm. I hung out with my new friends (Serif and Mohammed) from 5 pm straight until 2 am with only a 20 minute stop at home. Felt at ease in their apartment and we taught each other a lot of new customs, I taught them a card game, and learned one of their social norms like don't pass what you're smoking after just one smoke. They gave me a generous goodie bag to take home in exchange for a chunky sweet portion of my great-grandma's coffee cake recipe. Oh yeah and we broke into their apartment complex with a crowbar when they both left without the key, one for cigarettes and one to meet me. Poor timing on the key thing but that crowbar came into use twice that evening.

--Saturday, after morning obligation, I hung all day from 1 pm til 2 am with a new friend studying here from India named Rekha. I just met her through one of those disappearing friends everyone has at a coffee shop last week, and after standing over their table for 45 minutes we exchanged numbers. I called her up Saturday afternoon and 30 minutes later we rode our bikes to the downtown for the "food fest." We got yummy food and iced tea to help cool us down on that sunny day. Then we sipped beer for 2 hours at the new Brewery that just opened up, sitting outside and watching cars and motorcycles pass through the downtown. I learned a lot about her; she just ended an ARRANGED MARRIAGE. We talked about other things like traveling and she invited me to come to INDIA with her next year! This is quite an opportunity and I think it'd be a fabulous next trip when I've earned some funds to justify it. Then, she cooked/reheated Indian food for dinner at her apartment and we walked/took the bus downtown Urbana for the Mhondoro concert.

--The Mhondoro show (Zimbabwean pop rhythm and dance music) was an absolute blast, as usual. It never fails to be a 100% good time and sweaty mess, everyone agreeing by show of dance with everyone there that this is good stuff here. This is a damn good local time if you're lucky enough to catch it, and when you show up, ya SHOW UP. Just DANCE. Damn...

--Cool sidenote: Was interesting when there were 3 people, incl. me, from my high school in that intimate crowd under 50, half the audience over 50, from 3 very very different social groups who would never probably be found in the same location if they didn't come from it. I had ONE class with each of them in high school, a calc class and senior English, and always thought that both were quite intriguing. Well, it was intriguing that each of us stumbled separately into that small Urbana world music and dance scene. Two of us danced our cabooties off together on the floor.

-- Then, 4 of us hitched a ride from the Tonyman and we re-situated to a bar in campustown  normally frequented by athletes, where my friends never went to, whereupon I got free drinks from the bartender, who is one of my student volunteers (...), and watched as 5 dudes did a synchronized dance through the bar to an anonymous new hip hop song as a conga line. I was unfamiliar with this song and dance but it was damn entertaining to watch em. We also witnessed a true black girl bootydance right in front of our table. I continued my own dance party with Rekha a bit and made amigos with 3 puertorriquenos new to the area after I invited them to join said dance party. They did, and I believe I gave one of them my number altho I have absolutely no idea of any of their names.

--Today (Sunday), I watched a lot of CNN and wasted time on the internet after sleeping a ridiculous amount from outdoor and dancing activities. I went on a high run but it was lowly endured and mediocrely enjoyed. I said Happy Father's Day to the best dad and wished a warm welcome to my sister who just returned from South Africa tonight. They were on the way to my family BBQ at my aunt's which I was planning to attend all of last week until Friday. I'm OK with that in the end.

Moral of this entry: Befriending international friends always opens up worlds of opportunity, fun, and life enrichment... 

Salaam and Shalom

go me

 Newses - slow news week, made the cover a few times.

I think my fish is trying to commit suicide. The first in my tank died yesterday and now this one is sticking his face into the rocks and being vertical. Not normal.

Caught up with many friends today!! Going bikin' to Urbana to attend a talk on PEAK OIL. Showin up for the green cause. GO!

runnin

mah shoes r too damn comfi fer me ta getta propr wrkout

SimDreams

Well, the JubJub's name is elola, there's tezee, too.

There's the mansion, the metropolis, the dizzying busy park to end all theme-parks.

Later on, I founded the precursor to ancient Rome.

I beat the high scores, I exceeded expectations with Empire.

I can re-visit those cities waiting for me, I can revive that family in the mansion, I can whirl around in my favorite rollercoaster 

I can go back in time, where it is all still living on

frozen in time with the last save, still able to be recovered

I can have that life back

those mindsets for me are like riding a bike.

But what good would it do 

to go back for round two...?

It don't hurt to play games some

s'long as it don't cut productivity none

the thing with life is

it can't be won

rarely can you save it as is and return to level one

you've got to keep on- keep on building

more levels, never done

each game was a step 

a building block 101

to dominate the matrix, high score your tetris, create your mini-metropolis

and with a click of your finger, a bite of the mouse

you make a world of imagination and can construct your dream house.

Humph - We play such a small part in person, wouldn't you say?

How we're just a pawn in the game, a small voice in the crowd, person 1234 with a # but no name?

Unless you realize somethings, and take it to the streets:

that maybe experience accumulated in masterminding these worlds

can truly apply to real life, where if you're actually making a difference, where it doesn't sound so lame?

It's hard and takes much patience, you can't speed up the pace of the game -

in fact Time gets a-hold of you, turns your control-prefs to shame.

Wind up the buttons, pull some of those knobs, get this one going

don't mess this one up, autosave need not apply

you're out in the open, exposed, you're living it, My!

Maybe it's a dream, living that Sim version of yourself

where you're still young, it's all in fun, and in game... This you say to yourself to get by.

summ'r anthems

bicycling is difficult, when you have a heavy shoulder bag that doesn't cross your body.

it made me fall

then one block later I laughed at how funny it all went down.

Zimbabwe pop music, you must make everybody so happy!

I made homemade mashed potatoes, caprese salad, and stove-top veggies with Tony

after a bike ride to the local Co-op grocery shop where we got our goodies

after drinking Corona and donuts at 4 in the afternoon in the sun

I'm listening to a reggae version of Like A Rolling Stone

http://www.myspace.com/thereggaecowboys

as I am gchatting with a dear dear friend, Anne, in Guatemala

what a lovely girl, used to work at that co-op mentioned earlier

she is heading to Mexico tomorrow

not sure on the city. Not sure how to make the decision -- Oh! She said it depends on the rain.

As if, as if -- as if the answer's blowin' in the wind.  

warm wave

Shore! We shall see, Sally.

apple dumplings

Had an adventure today

got steamin' apple dumplins' off the side of a country road

$3 ea.

soaking wet from a bike ride to get to the Center

biking in the rain is an experience, I yelped a lil'

woooo hoo!!! Yeah, baby! It was a good ride.

We pulled over once I saw the apple dumpling sign.

Rode several more miles - I am not a biker you know! It was a challenge!

...and finally, home! just before dusk, still in a tank and capris, breeze feelin' nice 

Tony gave my bike a makeover, new oil, pumped tires, ready to go

I have a nice shiny car you know, but sometimes it's better to let it sit there, even in the rain.

internet have we met

blogging

twittering

facebooking

checking and updating our website

internet-music-ing

Is it all real?

It is, if we are truly connecting.

Here (*points to head*), here we can be connected, friend

Smile at me back, please,

and snap a digital pic to send to me when you do

so I know it's real :-)

smooth sweet mexican sway

lot of green stuff this week

in the light of the bright yellow sun

bohemian melody, baby, sweet hippie love

I sing and dance alone to my own happy rhythm

Artful Dodger

and I like this pace, this mind-numbing dub

beat so fast hands can't keep up

Bobbin' that head but what's the use, you're in bed

ain't getting those dancing jitters out now is you, Red.

HPE!

@ home, the one up North

sans wallet, sans phone

but got home with all my bones

Had a fun night with the boys

at the berenstein Bears' mansion.

Joel bought me Micky D's and we sailed to Cory's

to the crawlspace now widda couch

so comfortable there, in the cupboard under the stairs

 things are nice, hearty chicken and rice

or sugar and spice if you're a veg

Milk is bad for indigestion

. lack of ~

Kontakte

~ maybe .

i sit not

Jerusalem

Jerusalem, if I forget you...

and it's true, the past helps me be, I wonder what it does for you?

Life is fuller and pretty with Jewish complexity

and a memory or two, awesomely awesome as it may be, brings me back to a forgotten history

Keeping me humble, maybe

Grounding me.

But my destiny holds great things and complexity makes it moreso

Like a golden brick in the great Sphinx' torso

Noble, shining, immortal

A symbol of humble past, pride... and struggle

Like any father say, "know where you come from, remember your lessons,

Don't forget these things, count your blessings."

I recount some of the deep-seated feelings here in this rhyme

I strive to reach deep-seeded healings eternal and within

I reflect on ancient histories, Risen

Withered by infernal sands of the Middle-East,

and hidden in the secret winds of Time.

Ben Harper

Blessed to be a Witness for consciousness' sake

Bzz Busy Biz Buzz Busey Booze

This Blog is not my life.

It's just tidbits and swarms

of jumbly jitterbugs formed

and of neurotransmitters warmed.

I've got time to discover more if you do.

If not, then, who's it for?

Huuuuuuge fucking Day, to-morrow, Mon,

A big budgetary day where we think we already know the outcome.

Where, paradoxically, if it holds true then we come out!

A come-out press party wrapped in green

Recycled tinsel made into a pretty bow.

Tie it tight, dear, don't want anything falling out or apart

Get Bus-ey livin', or die tryin'! they say, don't get too caught up with money in the bank

But go sleep, the tree will be there to-morrow

Where you can go bright and early to see what surprises await under its central branch...

A.P.

watching TV for the first time in several weeks.... I'm going ape-shit

monkeying around.

Save the Primates!!!

My sister is in Africa, again

I am in Champaign, again

trying to make a difference

but it is so slow-going.

Patience!

These things take time

if we want it to be complex and most successful.

sick of talking

and internet does nothing except as an info resource for real life

search and search hours and what do you find?

shout me out

I'm crossing the pond this day

if you tied dat shit up say it wit me yall Hell Yeaaa!

if u gots loose ends shake dat tootie capootie

the rest of my maniacal Monday

working backwards hereafter

8 pm- meetings for dates of rest finalized, E-need CCG

7 - tony paid thanks tony, Thailand from back 'Jonder, whole watering at 8!

7-5 - conversations half-drunk; Execs w/ hour happy

4 - roomn'board in ownage utility

2:30 - roomn'board in ownage media

1 - crew w/ preps, meeting and lunchhome.

12-9 - store book at work.

8 a.t - word show?

mon-day nite nine on

walking to my car at 3:30am in the cold drizzle for 15 minutes was worth it

just me and "molly," we were OK

surprised I don't have pneumonia today

I feel fine and happy.

Danced 4-hrs straight to EOTO man, yeah

so much sweat I stripped to my tank

went alone but knew more people there than everyone else, methinks

found my odd dance trio

frobeardfriend B and suave soul superhero S

went to the top overhang to rule the rave

the hippies kept movin' below.

Hung with my hippiepartyfriends

some nice surprises like my tiny energy-ball babe, Bailey

that shy guy but crazy dancer, Drew

red-head-dreads, David

G.E.T. Ryan, bro

the Zm-team, friends

back from Thailand? John is.

The lovely Jaclyn, I should know better.

of course the one and only Bigs, and hiz crew I already knew.

The night cost $15

several nice beers and a tequila shot yo

free show even, so

it was well worth it, all of it, yes.

Move onto after party far far away on Western Illinois

the hippies reunite, and shelter the 'OTO.

Never, ever before have I heard: "would you like to check out my crystals?" because the gem collection was present.

She was wearing some of her handmade pendants, she was talented and beautiful

 bright blonde dreadlocks and her longhaired matching boyfriend's

 a prize couple

I really liked them and my dry humor at the time made her smile too

then she went outside to spin fire.

and then Bro's friend Priscilla lent me her coat and went to fetch me water, unasked.

What a genuine sweeheart! Lovely girlll!

Now we are friends.

Goodbye lovely people, until next time!

Until we reune, in love of good music and good times!

12 days, 3 times 4, 3 3 3 and 3 for good luck

don't jump in the pond this time it's a bad idea

WWH2O

April Fools!

There is a Cold War going on in my fishtank. 

That's noteworthy.

Why do I write again?!

a poor man's wordsmithing

 dumber for dwelling
                or
passion points for phantasizing ?
                 
     down! to earth.
rotting rocks were strewn
 on the piteous path to pitfall.

Bebe!

...falling asleep transcribing Bebe lyrics from Spanish to English:

It’s tiring to do this so many evenings, so late
When even clear, beautiful Spring water must, too, evaporate.
I can’t be up all night... Not if I want to be serious, all right
But to the beat of my own drummer... I find the depth to write
I may march against the enemy to lead the April battle-fight
Me, serious like a helmet-clad beetle, armed with a sting-bite
Me, solemn to buckle down and have a hand in war, if I might.

Or, I opt from battle, for into slumber I plunder
Prematurely into sleep, falling
Cutting the narration short, like scissor to string,
leaving even Ben Franklin wondering.

What a sight from the kite! looking up at the cloud with silver lining
Until enlightenment lighting overshadows the thunder’s loud thinking

Wake Up Good Morning…. This is Africa Calling…

elementary

fire and ice
earth air fire water
earth fire and water

I think there are three most prominent
earth fire water
because what is air? if you consider it space
then you can consider much within this world to be most prominent.

what material is the magic

pillowcase

An Earthbound lifegiver,
a Burner to black,
a Liquidy flowy clear most-basic miracle substance, on this earth.

And an Infinite opening for all, but nothing, a lifebreath interchange, holder of invisible stuff, disintigratey cleardom
whatever you call it - air air everywhere, it's not, but maybe still there
and it may be
that it just [doe[i]sn't matter.

Que raro
"how rare"
(strange! because in Spain the phrase is not that at all.)

I tell you, It's all a matter of -
what we think is the matter
up there in that noodle cadoodle.
The noodle cadoodle! The Fifth Element
After All This Time!

Fuck elementals, don't tell me what the basics are
Fuck You, Science!
...and Thank You for getting me this far

ha

it's all pun
knee

The Nod (live)

When it comes down to it, I don't have anything figured out.
I'm just part of a scope.
"How, you see...? How you see?
...How you say?"

And if I could articulate fluidly
We'd be swimming in the same Sea
Scape
On a hope farm with diversity
Goat
Not an army but an array of uniquity
Free
You can't put an elephant in a tank.
***

When I play Fat Freddy's Drop it makes me feed my fish more. The last sentence is always so relevant

Vessels

It is hard to articulate thoughts from within
What if there are none, and it is bouncing sea water, white-capped and never ending, that fills me up and drowns the whale of a Free Will
All I can do is to stay afloat, the waves will always be beneath me if I just stay afloat… If I keep… going
My heart keeps beating
My body is a raft
Floating with its will
This is how we humans fly.

We are but Vessels
So I have been reading. Hearing
Either way, taking to consideration. Here
Carrying a package home to put into my Heart, maybe
Into that tea tin, maybe, the one where we stash Valuables from History
Things we keep, and keep going, close to our hearts.

Vessels! We carry things around with us, we carry ourselves
A large burden, undoubtedly the focus of all our strength
If we could only just carry one thing.
We have vessels within us
Life vessels, particle slaves that move around at paces we cannot comprehend.
We do not fully know their patterns, their work schedule, their habits and tendencies
That result in a life force, a collaboration of much movement formation
And who is the Controller
Because the aforementioned may go by many names,
(And what’s in a name? a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet
And the front of the book cover "Hindutva" is a Nazi Swastika
But the book is not about that.)

What is your name! controller
How specific your answer
And what is the extent of your claim.
Who Are You, Life Force
At what level doth thou playest
And for whose sake of game?

Is this a search for Truth?
I don’t know myself
I ask the question not to you
But, boldly, to truth itself
In the open air
Hoping it comes out from inconspicuous hiding
inevitably I, not knowing, if and when it does, to believe its tiding.

For all the Who’s, What’s, and Where’s
That are asked along with all other questions out there
There lacks a most curious and daunting What,
That asks all the same: Who, What, Where, and Why
One word that lasts until eternity
And comes first in everyone’s personal definition of Modernity
It is the "What of Within".

So common is this, the avoidance and self-doubt
We clench our fists in silent nonaction
“Thank You Very Much, but I can do Without
Your questioning of the Whats and Withins!” As we shout.

"I can do Without
Your purposeless predicaments you put me in
I can live blissfully Without
Your inquirements, your on-the-spot requirements, of thinking, you see.
No thank you, I’ll pass on your request for response,
You put me in a Where, I don’t want to be."

So What’s With the Within
And Where do I go from here?
Cuz I’m searching for something, some answer
That leads to a path I believe is already there.

The life boat, the vessels that takes us
It is within us, connecting us like an invisible thread
In the Bhagavad Gita, it is said
That with chanting and meditation on the almighty Krishna or some omnipotent God
Can we attempt to be at peace in our bed.

Something is deep within us, a soul
There is a visible difference, the eyes of a Soul and the eyes of the Dead
An apparent Something we cannot explain
A truth from our soul around which we try to wrap our head.

Alas, this is difficult
The stage we are at
Character formed, place in time set, stage and lighting a constant fix
Someone else pulled down the curtain and we are ON, naked and exposed
We try to make the best of our show, have a good time of it and for everyone else too
Use the props that are there, to amuse, and to avoid a Boo.

The occasional Character
Will put down the script
Maybe tear down the curtain
Be done with it.
Maybe they’ll head to stage right
Where there’s a door and a light
Maybe a Wizard behind it
With magic crystals so bright.

Ask the Wizard your questions
He is old and more importantly wise
You can emanate him like an apprentice
And soon with his blessed balloon will you rise.

Learn the tricks of the trade
Enflame the outdated Script someone else made
Immerse yourself in new study
A golden-brick road-path is laid.

Don’t tap out and get distracted
By those shiny red shoes
That sparkle and tingle the senses, make ostentatious material fun
They take you back home to a flat land of one dimension, losing all perspective and landing once again on square one.

No, be not there, distraction!
Of one dimension and flat pages of written script.
Let there be infinite possibility!
An air-balloon to space, reaching new heights, if you know what I mean,
Of new wonders and magic carpets,
That allow you to see the world more clearly
From an Enlightened Above.

Thank You to the Wizard!
And for your curiosity that found him
For in finding him
I allowed myself to astound.
And in finding him, become reassured
That the search for meaning and treasure,
is the same as that taking place within.

green is good

Today was a good day.
Yesterday was a fine day.

Sunday was one fun day.
Saturday was awesome.

not a bragger
just contented
active.

Each day had several highlights.

Like jamming to Zmick and hanging out with all of them at the Canopy last night
like the happy hour at 4 with new friend coworkers b/c of Sunday power outtages
was able to listen to music of my choice at work and read "Self-Realization" on krishna consciousness too
immediately followed by an hour and a half "buzz" run.... racing sundown and the wind
that was followed by a 5 course Indian home-cooked dinner with environmental friends in Urbana
then met up with a favorite person in my world who was visiting that weekend. perfect. and some home-boys too.
Saturday did the campus-cleanup and everything went perfectly... matching t-shirts and all, had time for frisbee and lunch with the volunteers. news reporter and photog even came out. beautiful!
Friday was green happy hippie day for me. at my University it is Unofficial St. Patrick's day. usually I am ridiculous and all over campus all day...but this one was very different. I did start a dance party with randoms at some point tho, but mostly kept to myself and appreciated things green.

I

Three of my favorite Illini Basketball Players are currently playing professionally in Israel.

that is all.

Strip My Mind

Strip Me Down
You can do it, if you won't Someone or something else will

I don't want my clothes on
I don't want my clothes
they are so pretty but so ugly filling up that huge closet
you know the expression, "skeletons in ur closet" -- well I got clothes in mine
big secret
hidden behind an ostentatious shield, lies <-- I despise these ugly words, they bring me down in weakness
thus now it is exposed. THENAKEDTRUTH.

Know me
so few see me for who I am truly
and it's still hard for me to often be myself, truly, because I am disposed to become easily melded into social norms. Daily taking shapes and different forms. Do you hear me, dearest Gumby? My little green magical friend, you have tread lightly upon the earth and represent all that is good, you nurture my creative imagination and let me be me, little Gumby you are my small God, I used to take you by the hand and carry you along wherever I trod...quite literally...

The irony, the connections that form as if all lifely details of mine do 'twine int'r a woven blanket, some queer quilt, ripped in many places, pieces stranded and strung together to fit inside this body of mine, to out-fit with clothes I change several times, to out-fit what I want to exude from my inner energy fit, change clothes quick make it cute, cool, then throw things into the huge closet back, cover it up with a pretty tapestry of green and black, bought from a hippie market that contradicts- offering things we do not lack

a msg from the Post Office

"I don't want to sleep Ever.there is Too Much to Do.i like sleeping It Is Peaceful Though.But i hate the Sacrifice of Time for Sleep." -my thought process as I was walking through my prison-cell apartment.

i feel that this is an entry out of the book Flowers For Algernon. what a sad, sad book. losing your mind and human mentality, losing control eventually turning into your white lab rat. i miss Pinky

what a silly fragment

writing
but not here
internet is a suction of life where we impose upon cyberspace fragments of our humanness
unfortunately I am easily suctioned, always have been, predisposed since mini-life mini-realm games (another post!)
it draws me in somehow, too easily, because I am becoming tied to it, allied with it, in my real life non cyber time
a dilemma you see
when I try to reconcile what part's the fragment and what's me.

Next Blog plz

Why is it that every time I click "Next Blog" at the top of the screen the blog is in another language?! I've been getting a whole lot of Portuguese. wtf.

urban-na

I think I want to live in a pagan village speaking a new language and with no internet. there's plenty of time to milk the cows later so let's have some fun now, baby.

All I did growing up was create worlds, I was the god creator of mini-realities and microsystems. My clay village. My lego village. My neoworld. My SimCity2000 master-metropolis. The Sims Drama. Fuckin' anthill. Recreating the freakin' Roman Empire.


The light bulb alights! Eureka!!! I should have been an urban planner. But, like, an urban world creator. Can you apply for that?

real life

The past 24 hours I was offered to go to 3 places...florida and san fran with my mom, and Wales/London to visit Pablo. Right now it's only $450 to London in April which can't be beat. Free stays there and in Wales the end of April, also his birthday and Bob Dylan concert within two days of each other... This is becoming hard to pass up.

Today I had an adventure with C to Decatur and Monticello, IL where we were the youngest attendees by far (and best-looking I may add) (...and the third conference in a row) to a conference of mostly old men from the EPA, DCEO, Dept. of Health, and construction firms and shit. I got a lot of free handouts and pamphlets and lunch. We got Dairy Queen onion rings and sundaes at the end which was a pretty good deal. I love conferences, and would love to present at these kind in the future. It will happen if I pursue what I do and if I [happily] continue...

My favorite fish, Fat Freddy, stares at me the most, and I think we have some weird connection. But alas, he is just a fish.

tree thump didgeridoo

hahhahaha amused by everything
also bored by it all

I look for meaning in everything
but this may be a deceptive premise

just dance

it seems like the last post was dayyss ago but it was more recent in realtime

last night was fun. time to: _____

I find myself losing confidence in my Spanish since I cannot presently think of the word for "mushrooms" which I should know.

WHAT THE FUCK DAY

must update later

cookie hearts are better

so healed it's amazing I have a heart cut out for that sort of thing

OO Optimism & Originality OO

I am very happy and amused now

I am listening to this song: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-ttpTP1o6M 

 Nigerians seem really cool... got this video from a Nigerian friend.

So contented doing what I'm doing right now.

Where else would I be?  What else is more worth my time than what I'm doing?

-msgfjshgsljlasaowiarourhukjshgsu

P.S. I've surrendered to the realization that I accept having relationships synchronized with fingertip-level accessibility... Mostly, that my friends now need to be laptop-accessible. The horror!

Anonanimal

I bought a fish tank today and five fish. They are red and orange. I hope I don't kill them. I bought a sharkfish with the most personality. They are next to my bed now so I can swim with them until I sleep. They seem happy, but I really don't know what they're thinking.

Today I went to a Wind and Solar 101 workshop, only us two showed, so we spent some quality time with the IL Solar Prez of the Universe.

out of Africa

Hey yeah, I'm out of Africa, Redford. Maybe I'll meet you in our collective memory, under African skies...

P.S. 

of course you asked Felicity to come along.

me's a-crazy free-fishin'

Well I think it’s so fucking hilarious, this lens I have. It’s like a mental party. I can just laugh at shit. Look around at shit and just laugh. Sometimes it’s other emotions, but I decide how I want to be thinking about things at that moment. And I like to heartily enjoy myself, so I laugh. "This is great! No one else is enjoying this moment like I am! Ha! Look around, people, this is funny shit!" Okay not really, but what if you make yourself believe that everything is funny?! Is that called delusion? What if it helps you enjoy moments normally classified as "boring" and that pass without note. But after you laugh about something, you're like well that was a good time, there were definitely some good moments had after all. Good Times.

Here’s my socio-evolutionary transformation. Here it is, Here I be, and Here are some fun words written by ME. I hear rhymes with the times, I jam with the band and participate with my hand, no it's true, I gots drums and I know how it do - I rhyme with the times and I jam with the band, I can be a poet with the music, enlightened Sight when I choose to use it - So I don’t quite master any musical device but I rhyme on my own, with my mind I set the tone, the only thing oft missing is the microphone - The pen in my hand is sometimes piercing with the wrong material or form, and I must find what flows in terms of ink from pens - it's like, if sight is blurred and you're seeing multiple, then maybe it's time to change that lens.

Here and now I’m composing it, slower than the music it is, though at a pace that I ace, lame as it is! So try this in your mouth, chew it a bit let it spit out – sometimes it’s hit or miss, but other times it’s like life bliss - Like freedom like YEAH like life all played out, like a game, like a fun one – don't let it be done - It’s begun, my transformation with the Atmosphere, and that’s why they call it, a sphere, so many rounds, real easy to capture everything together here...

Embrace its sound. Just a minute and a half in, but now I’m hearing the same song again. The one that’s Free! Feelin' it from that flat fancy fare chillin’ next to me, enwrapped in silver ice, with white lining. Figure out the clues, Blue! And it’s amazing how the mind works. What direction I'm taking this free-write, amazing what you would do for a Klondike... See, I just made that rhyme for relevancy purposes. My humor is [odd [ly]] [[in] tact]. Just crazy and free, you know immy? J-Just for now.

**

Look: A lot of it is in trend. A lot of it is silver. A lot of it is gold, and that mean it ain’t green. But you can green the scene, if ya know what I mean. Take a glassy clear shot at thoughts of Color – it’s obscene! The references and social understandings where we all know what it means... Collective social conscious, or unconscious, because we just don’t realize quite what's unfolding behind the scenes. The fuzzy screen lifts and you play it all out, ha! It’s a comedy again.

Do I need to say "it was a joke" at the end of one? Do I have to say it, out loud, to your face, it was a joke, a joke! You know, a joke! Nudge nudge know what I mean?

And I look to facebook for reflection! Like it was a mirror, like I need to look at my face! Like it was really something in life-time…web-time is so much more behind! What a grind! What a stopping of the wheels!!! And it’s like I’m reinventing it, like I’m making shit spin round and round again as it has in the past, but moooooving foooorward.

Phish: “I am listening to the theme from the bottom, I feed from the bottom, I feed from the top, the coffee that somehow leaks out of your cup, if nothing comes up, then I’m forced to swim up… on the way upwards, the colors come back, of all the bottom is blue gray and black, and darkness is cold and perception goes wrong, and the night seems to go on, incredibly long… and I’ll ask you whyyyyyyy if I’m swimming byyyyy, don’t you see anything that you’d like to try?”

And it’s come at such a perfect time, a time in the forest…. To dig under rocks… or float in the ocean, asleep in a box.

Swim to the light source or fly like a moth, so toss away stuff you don’t need in the end! But keep what’s important, and know who’s your friend.

"...So I’ll ask you whyyyyyy, if I’m swimming byyyy…. Don’t you see anything that you’d like to try?" And boy, it’s what you can remember me by...Bye!

ME

A Bright Idea

In finding the light, I know this is what’s right
This is your ticket and your correct flight
You to fly to the eye of the storm
and situate where the heat's most warm

Readjust your focus, look on the bright side
Touché, touché, but the yellow sun comes out to play
Take a walk on the bright side, the royal blue rivers and streams
Take a trip to the Rainbows and give the greens a taste

My pupil, realize in your brown eyes that you too shall see
That the rainbow burns brightest
When you stop your search for the pot of gold 'cuz the colors are free.